#1: Toxic (scary) Benzo Forums/groups/people
Avoiding toxic benzo forums is number one on the list for a good reason. Like the plague, scary Benzo forums, groups, and negative people should be avoided! I've seen countless tapers and recoveries go wrong because of some frightening thing someone read on a forum or some frightened person told them, which is usually untrue and isn't even part of their story. Nonetheless, fearing "what could be..." is too alluring and stimulating for our limbic systems. We must understand that part of our brain is intrigued and reactive to anything deemed scary and, therefore, a potential threat to our survival. This is why our limbic systems evolved in the first place. To alert us and protect us from danger.
During our healing journey, we need a safe, insulated environment of positive, healthy people working to remove fear and help their nervous system become more regulated. After all, show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. We are what we surround ourselves with. Withdrawal can be challenging and nasty, and it can be unpredictable. But we need not make things much harder by feeding into the fear. Understand that we become addicted to the fear and search for it. I've seen people jump ship, listening to the fear, which may come in many shapes. Again, it's not always internal. We tend to go searching for the things that scare us. We listen to ignorant family, friends, doctors, and even therapists. If you want to do your healing a great service, remove the toxic, scary forums, groups, people, etc.
But keep in mind this critical point. Don't run from all things scary. Don't become one of these people who can't even hear the word "Benzo" or they get triggered. There's a balance between being safe and protective, not feeding our limbic systems urge to gravitate towards fear, and avoiding anything scary at all costs. When we avoid everything, our limbic system becomes increasingly sensitive and reactive. While we want to avoid triggers, we don't want to become weaker. We want to become stronger and more resilient!
#2: Chemical Lies
Think of poison ivy for a moment. It makes you itch terribly, but what happens if you scratch the itch? Things get worse. The ivy spreads, and the blisters become irritated and more painful. The first thing a doctor will tell you when you have poison ivy is to avoid scratching the itch. In a very similar way, we must avoid listening to and responding to our chemical withdrawal lies! Please think of the fear you feel as being symptomatic because that is precisely what it is. It's a symptom of withdrawal, no different than muscle twitches. You don't need to listen to it, and you certainly don't need to respond to it. Why would you react to a lie? This chemical lie convinces us to rush to the forums and groups in the first place. The chemical lie is what makes us feel as though something is wrong. But try and remember, that's part of the lie.
As the chemical fear tells us lies, typical withdrawal symptoms then become some giant monster in our mind that couldn't possibly be simply withdrawal. We search for more complex answers, which, by the way, are also part of our normal psychological reactions. Our brain doesn't like not having answers. Instead, it would rather fabricate or believe in tall tales than sit uncomfortably, not knowing. The fear response during chemical withdrawal is a symptom, part of the fight or flight response. Its job is to make you feel like something horrific is about to happen. This is life-saving when there's an actual bear, but it is terrible when we sit on our couch safely watching TV. Don't scratch the itch. Don't feed the bear.
#3: Speaking in Absolutes (Black & White Thinking)
Our human mind tells us all kinds of lies. We are all prone to cognitive distortions and even psychological defenses that try to protect us by blinding us to inconvenient truths. We begin to develop maladaptive coping strategies to achieve some internal balance. However, these distortions (or blinders) can also be rather poisonous. For this reason, we must always be wary of speaking in absolutions, those all-or-nothing conclusions. Things are rarely black and white. There's usually considerable overlap.
Still, many of us speak in absolutes. We say, "I will either heal.... or I won't. I will either have an easy time coming off the benzo or have a horrific time. People in my life are either good, or they're bad for my recovery." Or, you might say things like, "No one can take supplements during withdrawal. People must taper slowly. People should always avoid rehab. My doctor said it's not benzos. My coach said it's ALL benzos, etc." The list goes on and on.
Take a moment to reflect on any absolute (or black-and-white) statements or beliefs you've come to embrace. Do yourself a favor. Throw them out. Understand that part of the reason we grab onto these things is because we want control. It's an attempt to control and avoid danger, but in reality, it poisons us. Take the chance and leap of faith that things will work out and that you don't know everything. Things are not merely black or white. People are not simply good or bad. Tapers differ from person to person, month to month. Focus only on what you can do to help your situation. Let go of control. Have some faith.
#4: Bad Food
We are what we eat. That's a pretty good statement, and it holds even more power during our withdrawal and recovery. Bad food can spike our symptoms and even create unnecessary waves for us. We don't need to embrace some radical extreme diet, but we should consider removing problematic foods. I'm talking about things like fast food, caffiene, sugars, high carbs, processed food, and alcohol. Treat your body as if you were training for the Olympics.
We are eating for performance! If you're doing this correctly, any excess body fat will melt off you. Your blood pressure and blood sugar should begin to come down. Your blood work should reflect healthy levels of necessary vitamins and nutrients. One doesn't need to become a vegan nor go on a carnivore or keto diet, though those diets may be helpful. Just eat sensibly is my advice. I prefer a Mediterranean and pescetarian diet because it's simple and tolerable. Additionally, low histamine and anti-inflammatory diets can be extremely helpful. Be honest with yourself. Could your diet be a little better? Consider having a cheat day where you reward yourself for eating healthy all week. This helps balance things and makes dieting much easier.
#5: Healing Deadlines
This is a BIG one. Throw away your deadlines! Try and understand that they don't work. We don't have control over everything in our lives, let alone withdrawal. However, we should have healthy goals and things we are reaching for, but be gentle and flexible after that. If it takes a little longer, so be it. Try and understand this is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself and focus on your healing and your self-work. Withdrawal and recovery are bigger than merely tapering off the drug. We have to address some key issues as well, many of which likely put us on the drug in the first place. I don't know about all of you, but things affected me before benzos. Those things don't just go away, despite what some popular benzo coaches might tell us. Mental illness doesn't just clear up and disappear while we are tapering off an anti-stress medication and possibly enduring trauma. If anything, the opposite happens. Our pre-existing conditions get a little stronger for a period of time, and we risk developing other issues, though this is usually temporary.
Focus on the good work. See this as a profound period of self-growth. If you can do that, it will become easier not to focus on healing deadlines. Remember. There's nothing to race to. Sure, you can rip the bandaid off and taper quickly, meet that deadline in your mind, but at what cost? And then what? A few months go by, and you realize you don't have all the tools to brave the rest of this journey. Do you lack the tools to finish the job? Don't fall into the trap. Take a deep breath. Pace yourself. Focus on the more important work. If you do this, then it is entirely possible, and even probable, that you will come off the meds and not only heal but possibly correct your previous conditions or afflictions. You certainly will pave the way for a better future, one without the dependence upon psychiatric meds.
Next week, we will explore five more essential things to avoid during withdrawal and recovery. Until then, be good to yourselves. You are healing, and you will make a full recovery.
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