The Recovery Paradox (worse before better?)

If you’ve been on this journey long enough, you’ve probably asked yourself the question:"Why do I feel worse when I’m doing everything right?"

You’re applying the tools. You’re working on neuroplasticity, getting out of fear, practicing mindfulness, moving your body, eating well, even tapering carefully—yet somehow, it feels like your symptoms flare up instead of improving. You start doubting the process. Maybe you think you’re “damaged” beyond repair. Maybe you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

But what if I told you this paradox—feeling worse before feeling better—is actually a sign of healing?

Let’s break it down.

Healing Feels Messy Because Recovery is a Process, Not an Event

One of the hardest truths about benzo recovery is that healing isn’t linear. We want it to be. We want a straight path—each day better than the last. But real recovery doesn’t work like that. Instead, it’s filled with ups and downs, windows and waves, setbacks that feel like failures but are actually just part of the process. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire and heal—doesn’t happen smoothly. It happens through challenge, adaptation, and recalibration. When you push through discomfort, when you start rewiring how you think, feel, and act, your nervous system reacts before it adapts. This can temporarily intensify symptoms before things begin to settle.

Think about it like physical therapy: If you’ve ever had an injury and gone through rehab, you know that stretching and strengthening the affected area hurts before it improves. The same principle applies here.

Your Nervous System is Recalibrating—And That Feels Unstable at First

Benzo withdrawal throws your autonomic nervous system into chaos. The fight-or-flight response is dialed up, while the rest-and-digest system is suppressed. This is why so many experience symptoms like panic, insomnia, hypersensitivity, and physical discomfort. Now, when you begin working on recovery—whether through tapering, mindfulness, exposure therapy, or brain retraining—you’re forcing your nervous system to adapt.

Example 1: If you’ve been stuck in avoidance, avoiding stress, stimulation, or certain situations that trigger symptoms, and you start engaging again, your nervous system reacts. It sees change as a potential threat. That initial flare-up of symptoms isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign that your system is waking up and learning to regulate again.

Example 2: If you’ve been in deep fear mode, hyper-focused on symptoms, and you start shifting your attention outward, engaging in life again, your brain might panic at first. It’s like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a long time. Temporary discomfort doesn’t mean it’s not working—it means your brain is breaking free from old patterns. This is what adaptation feels like. This is what healing looks like!

My Own Experience: Why I Had to Learn to Trust the Process

I remember a time in my own recovery when I hit a wall. I was off benzos, doing everything right, working on neuroplasticity, practicing exposure therapy, even teaching mindfulness—and yet my symptoms flared like never before. The anxiety was brutal. My nervous system felt more raw, not less.

At first, I panicked. Why was I feeling worse? Was I doing something wrong? Was I permanently broken?

Then, I realized something.

This was my brain fighting for the old patterns. It didn’t want to let go of the fear cycle so easily. I was challenging my nervous system, and it was reacting before it adapted. And sure enough, after pushing through that brutal stretch, I started seeing real, measurable progress. My windows became longer. The waves became less intense. My body started trusting me again. Had I given up at that moment and convinced myself I was "too damaged," I would have stayed stuck. Instead, I trusted the process.

Another critical thing to remember is that healing feels like chaos, but that’s how progress happens!

Think about how the body heals any injury. If you’ve ever had surgery, you know the worst pain comes after the procedure, not during. Why? Because the body is rushing to repair itself, flooding the area with inflammation and immune responses. It feels worse before it feels better.

The same applies to neurological healing.

When you begin calming your nervous system, it may overreact before settling down. When you start rewiring fearful thoughts, your anxiety may spike before fading. When you begin reintroducing normal activities, symptoms may flare before they regulate. None of these things mean failure. They mean your system is adapting, recalibrating, learning how to function without benzos.

Science Supports the “Healing Crisis” Effect

This phenomenon isn’t just anecdotal—it’s well-documented in medical and psychological recovery models.

• Neuroplasticity studies show that the brain experiences increased neural activity when breaking out of old patterns, sometimes temporarily amplifying symptoms before stabilizing (Merzenich et al., 2013).

• Pain science research highlights a similar process called central sensitization, where the nervous system becomes hypersensitive before adjusting to new pain modulation pathways (Moseley, 2004).

• Exposure therapy studies confirm that anxiety often spikes initially before it decreases, a concept known as “habituation” (Craske et al., 2008).
  

What this tells us is clear: Recovery isn’t comfortable, but it’s progress!

So how do you keep going when things feel worse before they get better?

1. Normalize It – Remind yourself that this reaction is part of healing, not a sign of failure. Trust the process. 2. Keep Your North Star in Mind – Focus on where you’re headed, not just how you feel in the moment. Healing unfolds over time, not overnight.

3. Stay Engaged in the Work – Don’t let setbacks convince you to stop. Keep working the program—neuroplasticity, mindfulness, exposure, lifestyle shifts. The work is working, even if you don’t feel it yet. 4. Track Progress Over Time – Symptoms fluctuate daily, but if you zoom out, you’ll likely see improvement month over month. Healing trends upward. 5. Reduce the Fear Response – Fear amplifies symptoms. If you expect recovery to feel messy, you’re less likely to panic when it does.

If you’re feeling worse before you feel better, take heart—this doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your system is adapting. It means your brain is rewiring. It means healing is happening under the surface, even if you don’t see it yet. Stay the course. Keep going. Your body is fighting for you, not against you. This is the paradox of healing, it often feels like chaos before clarity, like struggle before strength, like falling apart before coming together. But you will come together. And when you do, you’ll look back on this phase and realize this was the moment you were healing all along.

Until next time, keep going ~